The Wanderer's Site

It's been 45 days since my first day of judgment. Now I'm going nuts about the results. I'm still hopeful, but I'm losing confidence. Especially the other night, when I dreamed that I passed. I really got scared after that, because as the saying goes, "the reverse scenario of what you have dreamed of will happen in reality". Now, I am more afraid.

I was expecting the results since Monday. I tried to check on their website, thinking that they might post it earlier than expected as what happened before the day of judgment. But they have not. And now, it's more than 45 days, but the results are not yet out.

Though it's driving me crazy, I don't think I could wait until the 60th day. Now, I'm giving up. I will just assume that I did not make it. Maybe that's the reason why it's been delayed-- for me not to see it while I'm in the office. Maybe God doesn't want me to be destructed by the news that I have failed.

Lord, help me get through this. Help me accept that I have failed. Help me move on. And please help me stop checking that website from time to time. Please convince me that my name is not there.