The Wanderer's Site

I'm sure this post would make the "mature" and the "strong" raise their eyebrows and say "Tadz cannot move on again". The "strong" might even say that I am "romanticizing the past".

Say whatever you want, but you cannot change me. This is how much I love Lola. And I will write about her as long as I want. I do not need your advice anyway, nor do I ask for your opinion. So whatever you say, I don't give a damn.

You might not understand how I feel, because you have not actually grieved. What you felt with what you have lost is not the same with what I felt. Yours is not grief, but guilt. Mine is real grief and agony. And there's a big difference between grief and guilt, that I think you must strive hard to understand.

Anyway, I miss Lola very much for so many reasons. She had been my light and shield. Whenever I am confused, I would seek her advice. Whenever I am being attacked, she was there to defend me. Even if she doesn't say it, I could feel that she loved me so much. I can't help crying whenever I recall the time when I was having love problems. I didn't tell her what happened at first, but she noticed that I was sad. I didn't give her all the details, but she gave a very calming and loving advice. I used to have another bestfriend of my age, but most of the time, I realized that Lola is really my one and only bestfriend.

But what I love the most about Lola was her unpretencious character. Lola never tried to change who she was to be adored by others. She has gained so much love and respect with who she was-- without make-up, always wearing a rugged pair of clothes. For Lola, material things and money are not the most important, but life. She would rather live in the slums with all her loved ones, than in a mansion without them.

I really miss Lola so much. I really long to see her again, kiss her, and hug her. How I wish it wouldn't take that long for me to be with her again.